Peer Ministry Leadership

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Peer Ministry Leadership is Good Samaritan Leadership

by Lyle Griner

I asked, “How have you been using the skills we are working on?” I had been working with this group of high school youth for several weeks. Silence. I pushed the question further and waited.  

Finally, one girl said, “I don’t think this really counts, but Friday night I went out with a friend. I haven’t seen her for awhile. Her parents are split up, probably getting a divorce, I just thought it would be good to spend some time with her.”

“It counts!” I declared. “That is it!” One by one, each of the youth had illustrations of listening, caring and welcoming.

The real Aha moment hit while driving home that night, “We have all kinds of people doing ministry every day. We just forgot to tell them it counts.” Taking notice of her friend’s situation, her compassion, her taking action… is not that the real front line of ministry. That is leadership!

Recently Peer Ministry became Peer Ministry Leadership.

Adding Leadership is intentional. It is a way of expanding Christian leadership beyond microphones and committees. We assume that Christian leaders are those who speak or sing into microphones, or those elected or appointed to committees and boards. These are roles we see and hear. I am not suggesting they go away; they are important roles and callings. However, the roles of microphone and committee people exist to organize, edify, inspire, and gather all of us so that we may daily live a Good Samaritan style of leadership, those whose acts of kindness really count.

Peer Ministry Leadership, this Good Samaritan kind of leadership, is a lifestyle of caring, welcoming and affirming every neighbor. We believe that all are called to a vocation of loving others, as a response to a loving God, through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Following is a list of outcomes that we wish for every Christian. Don’t read too fast. Digest them slowly.

DESIRED OUTCOMES for Peer Ministry Leaders:

OBSERVANT: Alert to the needs of others

PML is about being able to see the needs of others, whether that is in one’s family, school, community, nation, or globally. Often we become aware when our observation triggers an inner tug, possibly the Holy Spirit prompting us to say a welcoming “Hello.”

TAKES ACTION: Uses skills and confidence, led by a compassionate heart

As needs are recognized, the Peer Minister does not pretend to not see or cross to the other side of the road. Instead the PML follows his or her heart to take action. Action becomes easier as skills for caring and welcoming are practiced. PMLs learn it is better to do something, rather than nothing.

UNLIKELY: Welcomes and cares, while feeling inadequate and unlikely

No excuses are made for being too young, too inexperienced, too busy, unqualified, or even too hurt or wounded from our own life situations. There is no one who has all the confidence, training or qualifications. Where there is a need, it is the person present who gets to be the first to offer welcome or help.

COMES CLOSE: Listens patiently and explores what is the real need

PML is not about fixing someone; it is about coming close, caring enough to hear and letting a person make choices that best fit him or her.

SACRIFICE: Willing to risk group security to give help

Caring and welcoming is not always the popular thing to do… even in the church! Caring and welcoming means accepting and including. This sometimes threatens a group’s norms. Insecure people might make fun of caregivers. Even friends may ask, “Why are you talking to him (or her?)” Be assured, caring is always noted, often admired and always the right thing to do.

CROSSES BARRIERS: Gives help to others, no matter their clique, culture, color or creed

Jesus knew that using a Samaritan in his story would raise eyebrows and even make some listeners angry. Many believed there are no good Samaritans. Caring and welcoming has no barriers, including cliques, race, age, sex, religion or other differences.

SEEKS HELP: Guides others to “innkeepers,” people who can help

Even the Good Samaritan takes the victim to someone who can help. The Good Samaritan is just the bridge to the longterm caregiver, the Innkeeper. We do not have to be everything for a hurting person. We are often the short term connection, needed to get the person to another who can help. Ministry is not meant to be a solo experience. We need the support of others including clergy, counselors, doctors, and trusted, capable adults.

How do we pass these outcomes on to others? They do not come just through reading them, or just from a sermon, or even from a PML training session. They are relational faith skills learned with face to face practice, mentored and modeled, lived in an intentional culture of people caring, welcoming and affirming every day, everywhere and in every relationship.

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Spirit Nudges

Here is the question!
“What Spirit nudges did you sense this week?”

  • What did you see, hear, or sense that caused you to be concerned for another?
  •  How did you celebrate another? Or affirm? For whom did you say, “Yay!” for? How
  • So what? Now what?
  • How do you respond, or want to respond to the needs you saw?
  • What might God be calling you to do? Options? Ideas? Responses?
  • What and how can we pray?

To Our Youth!

Did I tell you that you are our front line vital ministers?

I would love to think that, as your pastor and church staff, we have effectively touched the lives of a boatload of kids. I think we have, but I have no idea how big that boat is. Here is what I do know: you, our youth, touch the lives of more people than we will ever have the chance to meet.  More youth ministry is done through you than through any of us who are paid! You are our front lines of ministry. Your ministry boat is much bigger than ours.

I believe you are already doing ministry, but we may have forgotten to tell you. Your relationships – the people you care for, welcome and affirm every day, everywhere and in every relationship – are about God. Ministry is about loving because Christ first loved us. Ministry is about “doing likewise.”

You have friends. You know their great joys. You also know their great sorrows. You are the first to know when life needs to be celebrated or when there is pain that needs comforting.  You hear, see and sense things in others people you don’t even personally know. Your heart tells you when something doesn’t quite feel right. We call these Spirit nudges.

In our groups, we often ask about the highs and the lows of your week. We are also going to start asking …

“What Spirit nudges did you sense this week?”

You can share the concerns you felt for others. You may have been able to act on them by listening, welcoming or affirming someone. You may have just seen or heard about a situation and wished something better for this person.

We can pray about these Spirit nudges, and we can also help each other with ideas and support for being present when others need us. We will celebrate our ministry together when you do get to care.

This will be one of the ways we can support the ministry you live every day. It is one of the ways our church can be your ministry partner.

Be attentive to those around you. You are God’s hands and feet. Let’s help each other to help others.

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MEASURING MINISTRY

What if… ministry is not only measured by how many show up for events, (we always will!)  but is also measured by the number of caring and welcoming acts?

One group tallied over 2,000 conversations. Who new that every day conversations are really the very front lines of ministry!

 

PML — CARING CONVERSATIONS
BEHAVIORS  JAN FEB MAR APR MAY JUN JUL AUG SEP OCT NOV DEC
Abuse
Alcohol / Drug Misuse
Cutting and Self-Harm
Dealing with Authority
Depression
Eating Disorders
Faith Exploration
Family Issues
Grief
Peer Pressure
Physical Health
Relationship Struggles
Self-Worth or Image
Sexually Risky Behaviors
Stress
Suicidal Thoughts
Values Clarification
Anger / Violent
PML — WELCOMING 
BEHAVIORS  JAN FEB MAR APR MAY JUN JUL AUG SEP OCT NOV DEC
Gift named – expressing a person’s value
Invited someone to be included (e.g. lunch table)
Invited someone to come to an event or gathering
Served a stranger with an act of kindness
Went out of your way to talk with or visit
Welcomed & Greeted
W.H.E.A.T.ed”

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Adults Saying, “YAH!” Strategy!

Changes need plans!
Plans have to be written! It is the best way to remove them from just being ideas, swimming around in your head. Written plans bring about clarity, gives others something they too can own, and, most importantly, can be passed on. 
Adapt the following sample plan for your congregation.

RATIONAL

Recognizing that very few youth remain active  in churches, we strive to be an extra ordinary congregation by making intentional efforts to help youth find meaning, belonging, purpose and hope in our church.
One of our efforts is to train adults of all ages and from all corners of our congregation to be affirming, relational advocates.
  • Advocates who say, “YAH!” for our youth.
  • Angels who are mindful, observant and constantly looking for the positive in youth.
  • Adult gift namers who, face-to-face, heart-to-heart, name positive observations and hopes for our youth.
The results will…
…be an expanding congregational culture that values and includes our youth.
…be youth who value and remain active in church.
…expand beyond our congregation into families and throughout our community.

JOB DESCRIPTION

Affirming adults become intentional observers of the positive behaviors and gifts in youth, finding opportunities to personally name these traits and gifts.
 

ASKING

Every adult ministry group in our congregation will receive an invitation to give one of their meeting times over during the next year to a Full Circle trainer.
Lead pastor and church leadership will highlight the importance of this invitation.
First groups will include the church staff and congregational leadership. Following groups, such as the choirs, the quilters, various Bible study groups, and all others, will be included.
 

TRAINING / PREPARATION

Training is based on the curriculum, “Full Circle Relationships.” (See www.peerminsitry.org “Store”) One hour group sessions will include elements of session one, that helps name the importance of faith forming relationships, and session three on effective ways to be a gift namer.
To learn this training, a person from Peer Ministry Leadership will lead us in a one day training  of trainers.

SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY

After Full Circle Training, follow-up will include short devotions with opportunities to share story highlights stemming from the use of skills learned in the training.
Story highlights will also be shared in newsletters, church services, and video clips on church website.
Training participants will receive a set of baseball style cards with a picture, a name, and  a quote about church experience of each youth. (pending parent approvals). Cards can also be used as personal prayer reminders.

APPRECIATION

Trained groups will receive an appreciation tray of cookies [AND?] cards highlighting and reminding participants of their ministry as gift namers.

 

 One year from the beginning of the project, after 12 to 15 adult groups have participated in the training, we will have a celebration worship, led by youth who will highlight various adult faith forming angels in their lives.