Peer Ministry Leadership

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More Than Microphones and Committees

I met Rachel age 4 and Beth age 5 pushing small chairs in the halls of the education wing of our church. “Hey girls, what are you doing?” I asked. Beth smiled big and said, “We are playing meeting!” Their response reflected an honest view of what the church has been reduced to. 
Late night after hearing one of the top Christian youth speakers in the country I asked my group what they thought. “He was funny,” “He was good,” “I liked him,” were the replies. Yes, he was entertaining but I seriously doubt that any changes resulted.  
When youth are asked to describe Christian leadership they most often describe models represented by microphones or a committees. What kids most often see are people holding microphones speaking or singing on platforms, pulpits and stages. Kids see people sitting in committees, elected to boards, appointed to task forces, joining advocacy groups, meetings talking and planning in meetings. These are the models we see, we reward, we applaud, give money to, and train people to be.
Clarity here is important. I am not against microphones and committees. We need them, but these models only fit a few people. It seems to me that the microphone and committee leaders only exist to gather us for worship, motivation, organizing, leaning and inspiration, so that we can go into the world being servant leaders.
Aren’t the real ministry leaders the one’s who care unconditionally for their neighbor? Isn’t the real leader the least likely person who walks along side, comes close, reaches out, takes some risks, crosses boundaries, takes action and does not care about recognitions or rewards? 
“I don’t think this counts,” says the high school girl who describes hanging out with a friend on Friday night whose parents just split up. This is her response to me when asked how she was beginning to use her Peer Ministry training.
“I don’t think this counts” seems to be the response of most youth who are doing ministry everyday. We forgot to tell them that not only do such acts count, but that in fact such acts are the very essence of leadership! They are doing ministry everyday but we forgot to tell them hanging out with a friend who needs a good listener is ministry. We forgot to tell them that their acts of caring are always about God! Instead we keep exposing kids to more microphone and committee leadership styles. 

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#1 Flipping Youth Ministry Assumptions

Flipping 
   Youth Ministry 
      Assumptions 
  
YOUTH-LEAD strategy #1 is really about changing our own view of youth. Let’s begin by viewing youth differently! Instead of assuming youth are a focus for education and motivation, or in need of some kind of club, let’s view them, from the beginning, as ministry leaders. 
 

Let me put it this way. Let’s assume youth are vital, critical, imperative, essential, necessary to the ministry of our church! (A single adjective just didn’t give this sentence quite the punch I wanted. Let me continue!)  Key, important, indispensable, required, and urgent to our church’s ministry. In short, every youth needs to hear the words, “We need you!” 

In reality, youth do more ministry than I do. They are in far more relationships with far more people than I can ever be. They know many more of the great joys and great sorrows than I, or any youth minster or pastor ever will. Thus, let’s flip our assumptions and assume that our youth already are our ministry partners. My personal discovery: when I begin with this assumption, youth responded by doing ministry. 
  
Begin assuming! The results will soon surprise you. 
  
“If you want active youth, give them a purpose!”
 
IDEAS FOR “ASSUMING” YOUR YOUTH INTO MINISTRY
Choose your theme this year to reflect a commitment to people-oriented ministry: WE CARE, or GOOD SAMARITAN LEADERSHIP, or LOVING, BECAUSE CHRIST FIRST LOVED US!
  1. Learn and practice the skills from Peer Ministry Leadership yourself. “Live it before you teach it!”
  2. Teach Peer Ministry Leadership! <CLICK> to ask how to begin!
  3. Help your adults become models and mentors, with the skills of Peer Ministry Leadership.
  4. When you gather for discussions, use TALK-ABOUTS. These are twelve discussions about caring, welcoming and affirming others!
  5. Ask about concerns for others. I call it “Spirit Nudges,” What did you see, hear or sense that concerned you this week?
  6. Give youth a project to do with people each week. If you know what “WHEAT” is, challenge them to WHEAT at least six people this week and share experiences next week!  (Learn about how to WHEAT from Peer Ministry Curriculum.)
  7. Read and start using some of the 24 Youth-Lead strategies <CLICK>
  8. ASK about YOUTH-LEAD coaching. “Youth are either leading or leaving.” Take seriously the development of strategies where kids are not leaving.
 
I hope you send this letter 
to all your youth! 
Dear (your youth’s name),
You’re it! I am handing off the ministry to you. I just can’t keep up.
Why do I say that? You have friends, classmates, co-workers, neighbors and even people to whom you are related.  I can’t possibly care for all these people, but you can!  You already know their joys and sorrows. The most important ministry is being among people, listening to them, caring for them, celebrating with them, and loving them because Christ first loves us. 
  
I am sorry if  we have made ministry look complicated. It really isn’t. So, this year, our emphasis is helping you to help others. When we gather, we’ll give you some tools to help you be really good at caring, welcoming and affirming people. We’ll talk about the issues with which people are struggling. We’ll pray for the people you are worried about. Basically, we are here for your ministry, the ministry you live every day, everywhere and in every relationship. 
Below is a list of what is coming up this year! (Add your upcoming events!) 
Blessings,
Your name here! 

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#2 CREATING A GREAT YOUTH MINISTRY CUTURE

NAME IT, CLAIM IT, TRAIN IT 
(See also CULTURE KEEPERS and DESIGN #2)

You can put together a fantastic program plan,  but it is the culture within the ministry that can make it great or cause it to miserably fail! 
“My kids are way too silly and out of control.”
“Our youth don’t want to do too much God stuff.” 
“Our kids are not ready for things like Peer Ministry.”
“We only have a few kids that come. The rest are too busy.”
Church leaders often share these kinds of statements. Without a planned and intentional culture another has evolved. I believe culture can be created. It first has to first be named, than claimed while being trained.
NAME IT
I was invited to work with a group of Presbyterian youth on a retreat. My plan was great, but the kids were squirrelly, silly, and a tough group to get into any kind of amazing, cool, candle time discussion.  I finally smiled and said, “Okay, this is crazy night. We’re tired and we’re just not going to get where I want to go. Let’s call it a night.”  Then, one of the kids asked, “Where did you want to go?”  I told them, “I really wanted to get us to a place were we could all be honest and open, sharing some deeper things about faith and life.” The next response surprised me, “Well, we want to do that.” Suddenly the whole atmosphere changed. Everyone quieted down and pulled into a tight circle. I lit a candle and we talked well into the night. 
My take away: “Don’t keep the desired culture a secret!” Name it. Tell people what you want the culture to be. Make your expectations known. Share your excitement and experience of what can happen. 
It is well worth the time to write a cultural statement. Here are some questions to get you started. 
  • Who are we?
  • Who can come?
  • How do we treat each other?
  • What are we about?
  • What do we value?
CLAIM IT 
Self-fulfilling prophecy can help or hinder culture formation. Our personal assumptions become the forecast of our culture or ministry atmosphere. After a culture has been named, it must be expected, lived into, assumed, and claimed! 
I remember Tommy Martin, my 8th grade social studies teacher. First days of class were typically about the syllabus and a long list of rules. Tom Martin, came in smiled and said, “I have never had a discipline problem in any class and I never will.” At that point, he passionately jumped into sharing all kinds of history that none of us had ever heard before, along with the consequences of that history on our lives. No discipline problems?!!!! We were 8th graders. We were supposed to be difficult. How did he do it?
As students at Pete Junior High, in Cedar Falls, IA, we already knew the rules for behavior. We knew how we were supposed to treat each other. Tom Martin treated students in a way that assumed we knew this. He had high expectations for us. He taught as if everything we did was vital to life and the world around us. 
The word “assume” is powerful. It is how we view others. I now work with youth in various denominations and in all areas of the country. I work with all kinds of youth in a variety of situations. I have learned to assume all youth are already leaders. I tell them they are. I begin immediately treating them like they are. I assume they are my partners in ministry.
Claiming your ministry culture is crucial. When your program is vital to life, assume youth will want to come. Assume youth are critical in a ministry that loves and cares for others, loving because Christ first loved us, (1Jn. 4:19). Assume that a well planned culture will be magnetic, one that others will want to be a part of. 
If you have “named” your culture, now you have to claim it every time you gather! I highly recommend the practice of using a “Culture-Keeper.” What is a Culture-Keeper? I am glad you asked! Before you start any event or gathering, choose one or two youth. Their job, early in your program or event is say three things in thirty seconds.  

  1. Who they are and that they are really glad everyone else is there. 
  2. Name a piece of the group’s culture that is personally important.
  3. Make a statement about why they come. 
TRAIN IT 
Skills shape human behavior. As an educator, I was taught that when teaching people something they need and can use, retention goes way up!  Knowledge is good, but by itself does not stick or last. When knowledge is coupled with imperative, need-now skills, the very skills needed in life and needed within ministry, you will have an attentive and eager audience. 
I love “peer pressure.” Especially when it is positive. Maybe a better way of talking about such influence is that most behaviors are modeled and mentored.  Here is a youth ministry essential. You must create a core team of modeling and mentoring youth and adults. Such a team models and mentors the desired culture. 
I think of core teams as being similar to a well trained camp staff. Each staff person is focused on building faith relationships with a few other youth. I’ll share more about this core team in a future E-news. 
Begin with a core group! Train the skills that are needed to create a relational, faith sharing culture. Skills produce change. Don’t miss that. Lean in and read a little slower. Skills produce change. It is never enough to only tell people what you want. You must equip people with the tools that shape behavior, the behaviors that in turn shape your culture. Peer Ministry Leadership is the best place to start. Yes, my bias, but for many good reasons. Key to any Christian culture is one that cares, welcomes and affirms others. PML is the very best at giving people these skills and attitudes. 
  1. Peer Ministry Leadership <CLICK> for HS and Young Adults
  2. EveryDay Samaritan <CLICK>  Five sessions for your early teens.
  3. Youth-Lead <CLICK> (Our new term for our direct coaching and training.)

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DESIGN #2

Youth-Lead  Strategies 
            Reality begins with a written plan! 
              Adapt the following  plan for your ministry.


(See also CULTURE KEEPERS and CREATING A GREAT YOUTH MINISTRY CULTURE )


CULTURE KEEPER


JOB DESCRIPTION
  • One or two participants are asked to lead this at every event. 
  • Their job is to say three things in 30 seconds with enthusiasm and sincerity! 
1. Personal welcome. 
2. Name one piece of the culture. 
3. Share a reason why you come. 

THE ASK
  • One or two youth are invited to do this before every event.
  • (Suggestion! Have an adult volunteer trained to select, prep and thank students each week.) 

TRAINING / PREPARATION
  • Adult leader reviews the “Culture Keeper” outline with selected student. 
  • Before the event, on the sidelines, ask the youth to pick one item from culture list, and one reason they come, using the guide. Ask them to practice sharing their thoughts in their own words. 

Appreciation
  • Group cheers and claps when person stands up. (Leadership core team insures this happens.)
  • Up-front leader thanks the person in front of the whole group. 
  • After the event, the adult who selected the youth seeks him or her out and gives appreciation and affirmation.