Peer Ministry Leadership

Leadership Training

LYLE' MUSINGS

by

ADULTS SAYING, “YAY!”

REPRINT THIS! 
Make it from you. 
A Letter to All  Our Adults!
 

     YAY!

We recruited you! What? You did not know? But, you said, “Yes!”
You are now on our youth ministry team. Thanks for agreeing! Are you excited?
Fear not, you do not need to sleep on floors or play laser tag!
We need you to say, “YAY!”
“YAY!” by knowing young people’s names!
    “I know I am loved by the sound of my name in your voice.”
“YAY!” by finding and affirming all that is good.
    “Everyone else is telling me what I do wrong.”
“YAY!” by telling young people’s parents all you see that is good.
    “You see things my parent’s don’t.”
“YAY!” by showing up for me.
    “Thanks for coming.  It tells me I count!” 
“YAY!” by telling me you lit a candle and prayed for me.
    “I am lucky to know people who actually practice faith.”
“YAY!”” by sharing your faith stories.
    “You became real when you shared your stories with me.”
“YAY!” by listening to a young person’s stories.
    “You make me real when you take time to listen to me.” 
“YAY!” by asking for a young person’s help.
    “I need to be needed.”

“YAY!” in as many ways as you can!

Why is this essential? Because as good as our congregation’s programs are, youth learn faith through people who live it. Relationships with our adults of all ages and stages of life are essential. You provide the sticking power for faith! “Kids don’t care what you know until they know you care.” Young people need a church full of people who all are saying, “YAY!”
We need your help. It is simple, but it must be intentional. Youth ministry is much more than program ministry; it is about connecting young people to people of faith. Thank you for joining the youth ministry team. Thanks for your intentional face-to-face, heart-to-heart, person-to-person, “YAY!” for our youth.

by

STEAL THIS QUESTION



Here is the question!  

“What Spirit nudges did you sense this week?“
  • What did you see, hear, or sense that caused you to be concerned for another?
  • How did you celebrate another? Or affirm? For whom did you say, “Yay!” for? How?

    So what? Now what?

  • How do you respond, or want to respond to the needs you saw?
  • What might God be calling you to do? Options? Ideas? Responses?
  • What and how can we pray? 

To Our Youth! (Make this from you!)
Did I tell you that you are our front line vital ministers?
I would love to think that, as your pastor and church staff, we have effectively touched the lives of a boatload of kids. I think we have, but I have no idea how big that boat is. Here is what I do know: you, our youth, touch the lives of more people than we will ever have the chance to meet.  More youth ministry is done through you than through any of us who are paid! You are our front lines of ministry. Your ministry boat is much bigger than ours.
I believe you are already doing ministry, but we may have forgotten to tell you. Your relationships – the people you care for, welcome and affirm every day, everywhere and in every relationship – are about God. Ministry is about loving because Christ first loved us. Ministry is about “doing likewise.”
You have friends. You know their great joys. You also know their great sorrows. You are the first to know when life needs to be celebrated or when there is pain that needs comforting.  You hear, see and sense things in others people you don’t even personally know. Your heart tells you when something doesn’t quite feel right. We call these Spirit nudges.
In our groups, we often ask about the highs and the lows of your week. We are also going to start asking …
“What Spirit nudges did you sense this week?”
You can share the concerns you felt for others. You may have been able to act on them by listening, welcoming or affirming someone. You may have just seen or heard about a situation and wished something better for this person.
We can pray about these Spirit nudges, and we can also help each other with ideas and support for being present when others need us. We will celebrate our ministry together when you do get to care.
This will be one of the ways we can support the ministry you live every day. It is one of the ways our church can be your ministry partner.
Be attentive to those around you. You are God’s hands and feet. Let’s help each other to help others.
Ready for more ways to help your youth be
caring, welcoming, affirming leaders?     
Shoot me a note! I’ll share some great outcomes that we help you implement!

by

STORY AFFCIONADOS

There are connoisseurs of fine wines, sports enthusiast, T.V. addicts, architectural admirers, nature lovers, and now there are story aficionados! (Aficionado? – I think it is a neglected word! It means, “Knowledgeable and enthusiastic about a subject or past time.”) As a story aficionado, you are a deep listener who loves to hear of people’s passions, their joys and their sorrows. You are willing to ask the questions that uninterested people never care enough to ask. You are unique, willing to ask the questions and appreciate the qualities of the person who emerges. Asking questions shows your interest and curiosity; you have a desire to let another share and discover who they are. Your art for asking good questions comes from your genuine enjoyment of others, being honored with their trust, delighted in their honesty, and handling their stories in careful, respectful ways. And when you ask questions that reflect your fascination, people say “I’m glad you asked.” Or, as one young man responded, with delight and surprise, “Dude!”
 
Here is some of the wisdom from other story aficionados.

“Everyone has a story!” The young retreat participant expressed her Ah-Ha moment. Her discovery is a life changing shift! – a shift from a person being another speck in the nameless crowd, to a human worthy of being known; a person who shares humanity with the great joys and great sorrows that go with it.

“You cannot hate a person whose story you know.” – Margaret Wheatley
Sharing human stories bring people together, breaks down barriers, allows for differences, values uniqueness. Sharing story allows a person to see around the masks and appearance that we mistake as identity. Cliques break down. Cultures come together. Religious differences are understood.

“And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” (Mt. 18: 20 The Message) There is something holy when two people connect through caring enough to know the other. Some have described it as a bit mystical. Relationship is a faith practice. I was taught that a sacrament uses earthly elements, bread, wine, water – as a means of grace. Maybe relationship should have been named a sacrament also. People are certainly earthly forms and the power of God’s grace is never more real than when the conversation connections take us deeper.

I have always had a passion for story! Thus the creation of resources that help stories get told!
Scripture Talk
        (1997, Vibrant Faith)
Real Questions
        (2000, Augsburg Fortress, out of print)
Heart Ignite
        (2003, Vibrant Faith written with Diane Monroe)
Faith Talk Coaster
        (2005, Vibrant Faith, written with Dick Hardel)
Blessing Bowls
(2008 by artist Dawn Deines-Christensen, I originated the concept for Every Day milestones version and was the lead on the development of this product for Vibrant Faith)
Faith Talk
        (2006, Four Key Version, Vibrant Faith with Andrea Fieldhouse-Griner)
Doing Likewise
        (2011, EveryDay, now available on line )
Candle Times
      (coming this summer!)
Jesus Quotes
    (FREE discussion cards… EMAIL me at PML@EveryDayLLC.org)

by

MY YOUTH MINISTRY MANIFESTO


First, I confess. The first versions of this article could only be described as snarky. There are those moments I want to yell out, “Stop doing it that way” or “Stop making excuses” or “Why don’t you just…” My advisory people helped me get over it. I have recovered from the snarkies.

The truth is, I love youth ministry. It chose me early in life and I have been unable to escape it. For me, there is nothing more exciting or energizing than watching the sparks of light turn on in kids. For some reason, I have always been good at creating growing groups, filled kids who have caring and welcoming hearts. I have always looked at kids and assumed they were my partners in ministry, my team, my staff. I learned early on that kids, when viewed this way, exceeded every expectation for leadership I had.

I have some beliefs that have followed me through the years. These beliefs still guide me in my coaching and teaching, helping groups re-vision, helping young youth ministers jump ahead, or helping organize a leadership team, who do not have funding to hire staff to lead their ministry.

Below (you will want to click over to my blog to read it all) is some of what drives me. (Most snarkiness has been removed.)

My hope for this writing? That you will respond to it!

What catches your attention?
Want to talk, argue, add your own, “I believes…

  • join in at the bottom of this blog
  • or join in a discussion via webinar on THU JAN 20th, 10 AM central standard time (EMAIL me for directions )
  • or just get on the phone and call me at 612-418-5572

I believe that Youth Ministry happens EVERY DAY, EVERYWHERE and in EVERY RELATIONSHIP.
Bringing people to a church building is not the objective. Still, much of what we do in congregations feels like it is. Living faith every day, everywhere and in every relationship are the ministry outcomes I hope for. It is faith and life, shared with peers, with families, at school, at work, in neighborhoods, across the world and with the body of Christ. It is front lines Good Samaritan leadership that I foster.

I believe in YOUTH MINISTRY.
I believe family ministry is crucial, but it is not an excuse to quit doing quality youth ministry. Kids still need the models of peers. Kids greatly influence the faith of other kids. Kids try out ideas, thoughts, beliefs and behaviors in relationship with their peers. Congregations are those grace-filled places that connect kids in welcoming, meaningful, and significant ways.

I believe effective Youth Ministry is built around a YOUTH TEAM.
Youth ministry is not led by one person. It is led by a team of well-trained, relational adults and youth. If youth are led by only one person, your numbers will most likely hover in the neighborhood of 6 to 10 kids. That is one person’s relational capacity. Where there is a well-equipped youth team, the potential expands. I don’t like using the words “volunteer” or “chaperone.” Ministry is bigger than such labels! Think of them like a camp staff – people relationally trained to work with a few kids, giving life and energy to the larger group.

I believe in youth ministry that is growing in NUMBERS.
I know, we all say, “It is not about the numbers. It is about the depth.” Ministry
grows in numbers when there is depth. Ministry that is not growing in numbers may have become a closed club or not found purpose and meaning. Ministry is not about a list of kids. We live in communities. Every time youth gather, a litany needs to be spoken saying, “Our youth ministry is open to every kid in our community and we are glad you are here!” If you only have six kids in your congregation it may be time for a broader vision.

I believe kids make time for what is MOST IMPORTANT.
“Kids are too busy, with too many pressures.” Yes, they are, but that is exactly why they need people and places for sanity and grounding. They desperately need grace space! When the mission is real, meaningful, and purposeful, kids will make time.

I believe kids will show up for WORSHIP.
Especially when they are involved and their voices are present. It is less about contemporary verses traditional and more about kids leading and seeing other kids leading. Are kids’ issues heard in the prayer petitions or in the sermon illustrations? Kids go where they are needed! Kids go where they are known and blessed. If we want kids in worship, include them in multiple ways.

I believe good youth ministry is built around DEPTH.
Stop thinking, “Oh, if we had more fun things for our kids to do, they would show up.” The foundation of youth ministry is not the word, “Fun.” Bigger and better hayrides are not the answer. Kids are hungry for chances for honest faith talk and life discussions. They gravitate towards spiritual practices. They want a faith that is actively making a difference in the world, helping them help others. Kids will of course create fun. It is who they are. Adults don’t always need to create it. As adults we need to allow it.

I believe youth ministry is about CREATING ATMOSPHERE.
I believe it is less about “Youth Group” and more about “Youth Ministry.” Maybe it is just a Lyleism, but for me “Youth Group” faces inward, becoming a club. “Youth Ministry” faces outward caring and welcoming every neighbor. This caring and welcoming relational atmosphere takes time and intentional direction.

I believe youth ministry is about BUILDING LEADERSHIP and DISCIPLESHIP.
Leadership is less about kids planning meetings or speaking in microphones more about Good Samaritan Leadership. I love seeing kids lead relationally, welcoming and caring for other. Microphones and committees really fit very few kids. But, every kid has relationships in which God is in the midst.

I believe kids learn from RELATIONAL MENTORS.
Curriculums are what they are, but they are beginning guides. (Buy mine!) But, kids know when they are only being taught out of a manual. Kids believe and act when they are led by relationally mentoring people, who live the curriculum.

I believe confirmation (for those who do this) needs really good HIGH SCHOOL LEADERSHIP.
Everyone keeps reinventing confirmation. That is okay, but, the assumption is that since kids quit coming after confirmation, the curriculum must be bad. I have observed that even congregations with great confirmation programs still have their kids leave … unless, unless there are magnetic high school youth, who are relationally connected with them. You need that relational Youth Team of older kids who care and are involved and model Good Samaritan leadership.

I believe that creating a WEB OF SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIPS is the primary job for youth ministry.
Counting numbers is less about how many kids showed up at a particular event and more about how many faithful relationships surround each kid. (Thank you, Tom Schwolert.) Think of yourself as a relational director, empowering spiritual relationships with other kids, families, congregation members and others. You create the youth staff or team, the peer ministry leaders, the mentors, the opportunities for caring conversations between kids and the elderly, and yes, with their own families. These are the numbers that make a bigger difference in kids’ faith.

I believe PEER MINISTRY LEADERSHIP is essential.
Peer Ministry Leadership is less about a training or curriculum, although that is how I begin with congregations. Peer Ministry Leadership is about creating a culture of Good Samaritan Leaders. This is learned by people who live it, teach it, and help guide it in others’ lives. It really is the grass roots relational ministry of being called to do likewise, which is needed by all Christians at every age.

I believe in FAMILY MINISTRY.
Families will not do faith practices in their homes until they have had opportunities to practice them, hands on, in your congregation. (Thank you, David Lynn) All parents really want to know is how pray with their kids. They want the simplest of ideas. (Thank you, Andrea Fieldhouse.) Children become who their families are, thus the importance of helping shape spiritual families. (And if you have not been to a Living Room Summit… Get there! We are putting wheels on all the studies and practices.)

I believe solid Youth Ministry TAKES YEARS TO BUILD.
It takes time to build a culture. Unfortunately, it can all be destroyed in a short period of time. Congregations, not just a staff person, need to own the vision and direction. If you get a new plan every time a new person is hired or appointed, you will be starting over again, and again, and again. New staff need to follow a congregation’s vision.

I believe there is MONEY for youth ministry.
If youth ministry is one of your congregation’s top priorities, then it has to be funded. If it is not funded from a budget, then there are other ways. “Creative worthwhile ministry comes from outside budgets.” (Thank you, Dr. Dick Hardel) Share the vision, pray, ask, believe… If it is worth doing, it is worth communicating and asking for financial partners.